Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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