All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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