I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
worst night to have a conscience
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
