i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
