theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
