I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
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I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize