She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
