You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
