Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
