wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize