I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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