I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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