she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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