I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize