I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
