I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
