omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
