It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You need Xanax blowdarts
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
