Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
