legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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