so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
