They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize