I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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