To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
