Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize