4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
