just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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