So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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