I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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