took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
