If i come over, it means nothing
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize