I want to make a zoo with you.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
