playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
