My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
