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I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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