Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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