i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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