who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
