I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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