D3 body, D1 cock
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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