If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
