I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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