Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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