I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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