she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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