I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
