Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
