Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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