he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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