did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
