dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
high people should be assigned attendants
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
