are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
