i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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