I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
