If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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