i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
