do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
