Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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