when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
