yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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